Growing distant
January 05, 2016
It is winter here in Belgium, the weather has been gloomy for the past weeks and I think it affects me greatly. Amidst my frantic studying for the exams (started last Monday, ending in the last week of January) I've been doing a lot of thinking.
If I were to freely choose which habit I want to get rid of first, that might be overthinking. Lately I've been so caught up with thoughts that lead to many, many sleepless and restless nights. I might get ready for bed at ten p.m and would still lay awake at 4 a.m, and even now I still have no idea how at nighttime everything passes by so fast.
I have been missing my friends and family overseas - despite the many conversations shared over Skype, Whatsapp messages and phone calls. There's just something comforting when hearing their voices and seeing them. But this is when it hits me the most, the sadness. When they're already getting ready to sleep and my day is just about to start. When there's this clear and huge time difference that's inevitable. When they hang up on the phone and when they bid me goodbye. That, for me, has always been the one moment that upsets me. And I often feel distant too.
I don't know where I was going with this point but I'm just putting it out there. At the moment I'm looking around, feeling things out. I'm not any less excited than I was back in October, but for at least another month, I'm ok with continuing to feel this way.