Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. - Psalm 27:14
- Isaiah 40:31
- Deuteronomy 31:26
Yes, I'm clinging on so tightly on God's promises proclaimed in the verses above. Waiting. Holding on. Orienting my life in the time at hand on the yet to come. Even if I stand with so many questions, I know He knows all the answers. But one thing that I'm certain of - I wouldn't change this season of waiting upon the Lord for anything, yes, anything- because at the end of the day I get God. How precious is that. My treasure, my prize and my portion for everlasting. As uncomfortable and painful this season may be, I would not trade this process. For without this refiner's fire, I wouldn't have gotten deeper in my love for Him. The personal knowledge of my Saviour. I would just probably 'know' from what others have experienced but never truly encountered Him for myself in the beauty of who He is.
I'm no expert at all but I know (for the Bible tells me so ;)) that the Lord takes waiting very seriously. He delights in His people who understand the significance of waiting- because waiting takes faith, courage and love for God. I would have never understood how my Heavenly Father delights in corporate worship, in godly friendships (He surrounds me with angels!!!), in my devotional life and even in my day to day uni chaos!
I'm not even halfway through the process, but I can now testify that He is my comforter amidst my fears and disappointment, my Deliverer from the wicked, my strength for my weary soul, my energy who refreshes, my constant Saviour from my own fickle heart, my best friend who loves unconditionally, my faithful promise, my favour and anointing who sets me apart, my sole provider, my rest even in the midst of the craziest situation I might find myself in. He is Emmanuel- God is with me. I am 100% assured and excited of the perpetual discovery I will find in Him daily as I surrender my whole life into His until eternity.
Not to minimise the process, waiting takes courage. The key to courage is waiting on God. And waiting on a God that is so faithful is one of the most beautiful things ever... But what does it really mean to wait on the Lord? As David waited upon the Lord as shown in Psalm 37, he exhorts:
Trust in the Lord..
Delight yourself in the Lord..
Commit your way to the Lord..
Be still before the Lord.
Yes, an active waiting. The Hebrew word means eager seeking- worshipping day in and day out. Waiting with delight, in joyfulness. When things are bad, I have delight- because it is a delight in God, not my circumstances, not the goodness or badness of the details around me. This is overwhelmingly a delight by faith, when I look through my pain and seize the unshakable glory of a Saviour who will never leave me nor forsake me, one who knows what it means to hurt, who walked the path of the greatest suffering to welcome us into His presence where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. And one thing I'm sure of, God delights when His people wait on Him, because it reflects how much one treasures Him.
I rest assured knowing that because He loves me, God will not bless me so richly that I do not have to trust Him. He blesses me seasonally, proportionately. God blesses me with the fullness of Himself through the momentary incompleteness of the provision I desire. He doesn't just want a gift to be a means to an end, but for the delight in the gift itself to be a means to grow in faith and joy. I wish it was not easier said than done. Most days, I feel it would be so much easier if I could just be thankful, instead of faithful. In moments of waiting, the biblical definition of faith becomes annoyingly real: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things NOT SEEN" (Hebrews 11:1). Let's just say I thank God that Elizabeth Angelia doesn't get what she wants when she wants it. For if she does, she wouldn't have fully encountered Him in the beauty of who He is.
And if at the end of the day I should repeat this season of waiting all over again, by the grace of God.. I would. For in the end I get God. My prize, my portion for everlasting. My heart will wait steadfast for I know He is good, He is faithful.